Oh shit, Sherlock
by KillgarraghForever
Summary: When Sherlock appears out of thin air, nobody can explain why he looks exactly like our resident wizard. Speaking of which, where's the wizard? Contains strong language
1. Chapter 1: Avengers

'A' Tower, New York

"Hello, Avengers,"

Tony's head whipped around at the sudden noise. He supposed that it was Thor (Otherwise known as Point Break) arriving, about to ask for a Pop Tart, again. Then he remembered that Thor was not currently _in _this dimension. The other Avengers had looked up at the sudden noise. Natasha, Black Widow, had drawn her electric batons, and Clint, Hawkeye, who was sat next to her, had his bow drawn and ready.

_'Why do they eat breakfast with their weapons?'_ Tony, Iron Man, thought. But his attention was drawn away from the former SHIELD agents' strange habits by the sparking golden circle that had just come into being, in the middle of his tower. And, more importantly, the man stepping through the strange circle.

"Who are you?" Steve, Captain America, or Capcicle, or Cap, or, You Know What, I'm Just Going To Stop Now, asked the man. Tony had a good look at him now. He was wearing a blue, robe-y style thing fastened with a rather complex belt. He had black hair that was greying around the temples, a small goatee, and eyes that couldn't seem to decide if they were blue or green. He wore a long red cape with turned up collars. Tony noticed that he wore yellow gloves, and his hands were shaking slightly. The man looked around, ignoring Steve.

"This is Avengers Tower, isn't it?" He asked.

"Yes. Why are you here, Mr...?" Clint trailed off, inviting the man to fill in the blank. The man sighed.

"It's Doctor," He said shortly. "Mr Doctor?" asked Clint, clearly confused. Tony snickered, but was cut off by a sharp look from Natasha. The man looked exasperated.

"I've already done this once, I'm not doing it again!" He nearly shouted, seemingly to himself. "Let's start over. Hi, I'm Doctor Strange," Doctor Strange said, smiling at us disarmingly. "Is Thor here? I've met Thor, you know, and I made his brother very pissed off. He yelled, 'I've been falling for thirty minutes!', then tried to attack me with some daggers. Is he here?"

"Not at the moment, _Strange. _What kind of a name is that, anyway?" Tony jibbed. Everyone glared at him, including Strange. "Okay, okay, I was joking. Chill out! So, explain _how _you got in here, and _why _you got in here."

"As for how, I think you saw the swirling gold circle in the air?" They all nodded. "That is called a Sling Portal, and it's how I got in here. As for why, ..." He trailed off, looking like he was about to sneeze. A second later, he did. "AAAAH CHOOO!" Strange sneezed. "a for why," He continued, but was cut short, as a few seconds later, a flash of gold sparks enveloped him.

"Strange? Are you alright?" Steve yelled at the tower of sparks. A few antagonising seconds later, the column began to dissipate. Standing where Strange stood a few moments before, was a man who looked like him, but with a few, key differences. This new man was not wearing a blue robe and red cape, but a black trench coat and a blue scarf. The new man had slightly longer, curlier hair then Strange, and didn't have a goatee. The man was talking.

"... realising that I owe you some sort of..." This new man trailed off, looking a his surroundings. Tony thought he sounded odd. The he realised why. _He's British! _Tony realised. "Where am I?"

Nobody answered him. At least, not immediately. The Avengers each looked at the new man with a different expression on their face. Clint and Natasha were studying him suspiciously. Bruce wore an expression of pure disbelief, and Steve looked like he was about to pass out. Tony couldn't blame him. The guy was from the 1940s, after all. Tony himself wanted to know how _two_ random men had managed to get past his security, his high-tech AI, JARVIS, and, above all others, him. Steve, being from a time when rudeness was a criminal offence, answered, abide hesitantly.

"You're in Stark Tower, Mr...?" Steve asked. The man complied almost immediately, and his answer shocked all of the Avengers to the core.

"Holmes. Sherlock Holmes, Consulting Detective."


	2. Chapter 2: Sherlock

**Restaurant-where-John-finds-out-Sherlock-isn't-dead, London, before Strange's sneeze**

Sherlock whipped off his glasses.

"No, look, seriously..." John said, looking up. "Could you just..." He faltered, staring at Sherlock.

"Interesting thing, a tuxedo," Sherlock commented. "Lends distinction to friends, and anonymity to waiters." John appeared not to have heard him. John stumbled toward the woman he'd been sat with. He appeared to have tears in his eyes as he ducked his head momentarily. He stumbled clumsily to his feet.

"John?" the woman asked, voice full of concern. _Been together for quite a while, John was about to propose. Lucky I stopped him, _Sherlock thought distractedly as he held his hand out at John. John did not take it, instead locking eyes with Sherlock briefly, and Sherlock got a full measure of just how much his 'death' had impacted him. Oops. "John, what is it? What?" the lady said again, this time worried. Sherlock let his hand drop to his side.

"Well, short version..." Sherlock said, and John looked up at him. "Not dead. Bit mean, springing it on you like that, I know. Could have given you a heart attack, probably still will. But in my defence, it was very funny." He laughed nervously. John looked murderous. "Okay, it's not a great defence."

"Oh no. You're..." the woman finally caught on. She looked at him in horror.

"Oh yes."  
"Oh, my God."  
"Not quite."  
"You died. You jumped off a roof."  
"No."  
"You're dead!"  
"No. I'm quite sure. I checked. Excuse me," said Sherlock, effectively finishing their little dialogue.  
Sherlock picked up a napkin from the table, and dipped it into the lady's glass of water. He then started to rub off his fake moustache. He met John's furious gaze, and tried to sound nonchalant as he said, "Does, er, does yours rub off, too?" John directed a tight smile at him, bearing no humour whatsoever.

"Oh my God, oh my God. Do you have any idea what you've done to him?" The anger was evident in the woman's voice as she glared across the table at him. Sherlock looked down sheepishly.  
"Okay, John, I'm..." Sherlock began to say, but a shower of gold sparks enveloped him. John got the impression that he was still talking in there. Only Sherlock Holmes could completely ignore the absolutely astonishing. John caught _himself. You're still angry at him,_ he mentally scolded himself. The light died, and standing where Sherlock stood a few moments before was a man who looked frighteningly similar to Sherlock, but with a few key differences. This new man had straight hair, greying around the temples, and a goatee. He wasn't wearing a black trench coat & blue scarf, but a blue robe and red cloak. _Weird, _John thought. The man was talking.

"...it's because I'm in need of..." the new man trailed off, taking in his new surroundings with interest. He sounded American. "Hi, there, " he greeted. "Could you tell me where I am, and who you are?" The man smiled disarmingly. John took a deep breath. This was _not _Sherlock. He had nothing against this Sherlock look-alike, apart from the fact that he stopped him giving Sherlock a black eye.

"Hi," he answered. "I'm John Watson, and this is Mary Morston. You're in London." The Sherlock look-alike looked bemused.

"Really?" he asked, sounding disbelieving. "I'm guessing that Sherlock and Mycroft Holmes are about to show up." He sounded sarcastic now, as if... as if he thought this was some kind of prank.

"No, I'm fairly certain Mycroft is looking at some top-secret file, or planning to take over the world, and Sherlock..." John took a deep breath. "Sherlock has just disappeared in a shower of gold sparks." The man scowled.

"Did he happen to be exactly where I'm standing?" He asked John.

"Yes," John replied, surprised.

"Crap, " he muttered. "Well, _John, _it appears that your friend Sherlock and I have trained places in our universes. Ever heard of Doctor Strange, or the Avengers?"

"Yes, " John replied. "They're superhero movies, aren't they? "

"Yep, different universe. Well, John Watson, my name is Doctor Strange, Sorcerer Supreme, and other-universe doppelganger of Sherlock Holmes."

All John could do was state at him, mouth hanging open.


	3. Chapter 3: Avengers

_**P**_**r_e_v_i_o_u_s_l_y_:_**

_The Avengers each looked at the new man with a different expression on their face. Clint and Natasha were studying him suspiciously. Bruce wore an expression of pure disbelief, and Steve looked like he was about to pass out. Tony couldn't blame him. The guy was from the 1940s, after all. Tony himself wanted to know how two random men had managed to get past his security, his high-tech AI, JARVIS, and, above all others, him. Steve, being from a time when rudeness was a criminal offence, answered, abide hesitantly._

_"You're in Stark Tower, Mr...?" Steve asked. The man complied almost immediately, and his answer shocked all of the Avengers to the core._

_"Holmes. Sherlock Holmes, Consulting Detective."_

**N_o_w_:_**

Tony broke the silence. By laughing. Loudly. That seemed to snap the others out of whatever they'd gone into, and they all stared at Tony. The supposed 'Sherlock Holmes' glared daggers at him. After Tony's laughing fit subsided enough that he could talk, he said,

"So, you really *snort* expect us to believe *giggle* that you're *snort* Sherlock Holmes?" 'Sherlock' stared at him.

"Yes," he said simply. Tony shut up, and stared back. Finally, Tony shifted his gaze away.

"Prove it," he challenged, and grabbed Natasha, and dragged her in front of 'Sherlock'. "Deduce Natasha!" 'Sherlock' stared at him for a moment, then turned his calculating gaze on Nat. He stared at her for a full 30 seconds (Tony had JARVIS time him), then stood up straight.

"You are a spy, and work for an agency not even the government know about," he deduced. "You fight with a gun, and are ambidextrous. You are Russian, but have been in America for 10... no, 12 years. You've recently been to Germany, for something to do with a recent conflict. You're suffering from minor PTSD from the same indecent. You are 34, single, but have a... crush... on one of your teammates, who you've been working with for 7 years. Something happened with them in... Budapest," **(1) **he concluded. During Sherlock's little speech, each of the Avengers' jaws were hanging open. Eventually, Clint looked at Nat questioningly. She nodded.

"It's all true. All of it," she confirmed, looking at the floor, cheeks lightly tinged red. Sherlock looked smug.

"OK, next question. How did you get in here?" Tony asked, choosing to set aside his questions (of '_how did you do that?_' and '_who are you crushing on, Natasha?_') and shock. Sherlock frowned, sitting on Tony's couch. His face assumed a blank expression, and his eyes flitted around. After a few minutes, they started to get worried. Steve waved his hand in front of Sherlock's face, who gave no sign of seeing it. Bruce nudged him, but nothing happened. Another minute passed until Thor declared, "This is ridiculous! Why has Sorcerer Detective Sherlock not awakened yet?", and jabbed Sherlock in the ribs. Sherlock gave no sign of having felt it.

"He's really out of it," commented Clint, looking at Sherlock. Tony looked at him.

"No shit, Sherlock," he said sarcastically. Clint snorted. "Oh," Tony realised, looking at the occupant of his couch. Then everyone laughed.

Sherlock sat up suddenly, and Bruce jumped a foot in the air.

"Good!" exclaimed Thor. "Sorcerer Detective Sherlock has awoken!" Thor stated the obvious. Before anyone could say, 'thanks, Captain Obvious', Sherlock curled his lip.

"Obviously. What amazing deductive skills you have," he said sarcastically. "Also, I'm not a sorcerer," he added as an afterthought. Thor looked confused.

"How did you know everything about Friend Natasha then?" he asked in confusion.

"I observed. For example, I can tell you that you like Pop Tarts, share a name with a Norse god, and look young but are actually old. You have an adopted brother who hates you, but you still love him. He's probably the cause of that conflict," Sherlock explained. Thor looked dumbfounded. Tony, on the other hand, felt smug. Sherlock had made a mistake, and he decided to 'helpfully' point it out.

"Wrong!" he exclaimed, and Sherlock looked at him.

"What did I get wrong?" he asked, not looking overly perturbed. "Thor doesn't _share_ his name with the Norse god; he _is_ the Norse god," he crowed triumphantly. Slowly, what little colour there was in the pale man's face drained away. A few seconds later, he fainted.

"Wow," Clint said. "I didn't think _Sherlock Holmes_ fainted." Bruce glared at him and Tony, then checked Sherlock's pulse. He picked Sherlock up, commented on how strangely light the unconcious man was, and left, headed for the infermary, leaving the others to sit and do whatever.

"Well," Steve said after a silence. "that was anticlimatic."


End file.
